I had to get my car from the repo yard (2hrs away) and because he was late I missed my opportunity. I should have just taken them with me, I should have not accommodated him. So when he left Friday, I called the repo yard and found out they were closing and I missed the opportunity. I had to wait until Monday. I emailed my ex once I found out (fri) informing him I was without a car and I needed him to help getting our kids home today. I told My kids the car was getting a tire fixed for a nail in it, I did not tell them, or my ex it was repo’d. Unfortunately accommodating him made Me miss my opportunity to pick up my car. I received no acknowledgment or reply Until Today, saying he will keep the kids and drop them to school in the morning. He lives 1.5hr away. I’m so mad, at myself for accommodating him and being made a fool. I’m mad I actually hoped He would coparent and not dictate. I’m frustrated that the reason he will not drive them home is because he has to be home tonight. His GF says so. He kept my kids from me twice this summer, all starting off similar. My anxiety is thru the roof right now. I follow the schedule and provide more time then he deserves. Im pissed that he is such a scumbag.
Sorry that happened. I tend to be more generous and giving, and expect the same in return. Unfortunately, it never happens.
Do you have anyone who can drive you to pick up the kids?
Yes my parents will loan me their car. So I just acted foolishly hoping he would drive them home. I knew he wouldn’t, he won’t. He said he is needed st Home.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Make this the absolute LAST time you put him and what he wants above you. The truth is that it all matters more to you than it does to him. You have seen that what he and the gf want matters more than you. DO NOT FORGET IT AGAIN.
Wow this is powerful. Exactly what I needed To hear. Thank you! It’s advice I’ve given time and time again. Go figure.
I just keep hoping for my kids sake, your bit about how it matters to me more than him, 100% correct.
I know, escalera, but the sad truth is that in many cases, the kids are just what they use to try to control.
I have been there with the ex...this is all part of the learning process I think most of us go through. And then we all finally learn to make decisions based on what is best for the kids & us...and if he's late, tough, leave. The learning curve sucks though.
Yes it does.
It SUCKS BIG TIME!
Never feel like a fool for being the bigger person. And never let a fool keep you from being the bigger person
I agree, but keep in mind that their is a difference between being the bigger person and letting yourself be walked on.
Absolutely true. In most cases being the better person means nothing! It’s just setting yourself and your kids up for an even bigger BURN!
I don't think so. I think this guy is an ass but I think if this teaches you never to trust him again this coparenting relationship is going to go down
There is nothing wrong with not trusting someone who has been proven untrustworthy.
Hmm I wasn't telling her to blindly trust but it seems like I've hit some sensitive spots and I'm not in here to argue. I was just offering my advice that's all
I appreciated all of this advice and will print it into a magnet so I remember. I do believe in being the bigger person but apparently I needed validation for it to which I’ve realized won’t come from the person I want it from Him. So I will just stick to the schedule because it causes me less pain.
I did/do the same. I continue to accommodate because I actually have a parenting plan that works and keep my littles safe. I feel that if I don't accommodate the Ex to a certain degree he will get pissed and file for more time or for unsupervised visits. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
I hate that feeling! Especially when I already felt that way the last two years of my marriage.
I think it sucks what we have to do sometimes but as long as we're doing what's best for the children then we're doing what's right. Ya know
If the man is an abusive batterer its not what's best for anyone but him. Courts don't care.
Yeah that doesn't surprise me.